I found a note this morning. My handwriting. My pen.
But I don't remember writing it.
It said: "Trust no automatic thought."
I stared at it for a while. Then I realized: some part of me knew I needed this warning. Some part of me saw what I keep missing: that not all my thoughts are my allies.
The Voice That Sounds Like You
Self-sabotage doesn't announce itself. It doesn't storm in with red flags and sirens. It whispers. It sounds reasonable. Sometimes, it even sounds like wisdom.
"You're not ready yet." "Who are you to try this?" "Remember what happened last time?"
The voice is familiar because it's yours. But the script? That's ancient.
Most of us carry core beliefs we adopted long ago: rules written in childhood or forged in moments of pain. "I must be perfect or I'm worthless." "If I fail, I lose love." "Safety means staying small."
These beliefs once kept us safe. They helped us survive environments we couldn't control. But now? They're outdated operating systems running on new hardware.
Visualizing the Internal Saboteur
In Multidimensional Learning, we start with Image: visualizing what's invisible.
So I asked myself: What does my saboteur look like?
Mine has my mother's cautious tone and my father's need for certainty. It sits behind my left shoulder, arms crossed. It watches every risk I consider and calculates all the ways it could go wrong.
It's not cruel. It's terrified.
Because the saboteur isn't your enemy. It's your protector: still guarding a version of you that no longer exists.
The Thought Interrogation Log
Here's the practice I started today:
Every time a limiting thought appears, I pause. I ask three questions:
- Is it true?
- Is it helpful?
- Is it recent: or ancient?
Most of my resistance, I'm realizing, isn't responding to my current reality. It's reacting to an old wound, an old threat, an old version of me.
The saboteur within doesn't need to be destroyed. It needs to be updated.
Resistance as Protection
Psychology calls this cognitive dissonance: the tension between what we believe and what we do. But beneath that tension is always fear. And beneath that fear is always an old promise: "If I stay here, I stay safe."
Growth requires breaking that promise.
Not by force. Not by willpower. But by recognizing that the voice warning you to stay small once kept you alive: and thanking it before you move forward anyway.
The shift isn't about silencing the saboteur. It's about no longer letting it make your decisions.
The Note I Wrote Next
After I found that first note, I wrote another one:
"The voice you're afraid of? It's not the enemy. It's the part of you still living in the past."
I left it on my desk. For tomorrow. For the next time I forget.
Because the saboteur within doesn't disappear. You just learn to recognize when it's speaking: and choose whether to listen.
✨Essential Clue: What part of me resists my growth: and why?
🗝️Cliffhanger Question: Is the voice you're fighting an enemy... or just a protector you've outgrown?
✨ Be Yourself to Be a Star ✨